By Jeremy Clarkson

The London Symphony Orchestra is a tribute band. It simply turns up and plays music written by someone else

Any slim hope we might have had of a Pink Floyd reunion tour was dashed recently by the death of the keyboard player Rick Wright. Oh, sure, the remaining members could still settle their differences, find another keyboard player and get back on the road but, and here’s the thing, would I go? Would I be watching Pink Floyd? Or nothing more than a facsimile of the outfit that provided a soundtrack to my life thus far?

We see much the same thing today with Queen. Or “the Queen”, as my dad liked to call them. They’re out there now, strumming and banging their way through all the old favourites. They even have Paul Rodgers on vocals – and Paul, in my opinion, is the greatest rock singer of them all. But is it Queen without Freddie Mercury?

As you may know, I am a very big Who enthusiast. I saw them first in 1975 at the Bingley Hall in Stafford, and it was the start of something wonderful. But then Keith Moon shot into the next life through a puddle of vomit, and every time I’ve seen them since – it’s 13 and counting – I’ve always felt that, despite the best efforts of Kenney Jones and Zak Starkey, I’m not really seeing the band that gave us Who’s Next. And now, with Entwistle gone, the problem will be even bigger.

Over the years, we have seen many bands hit by the untimely death of a member. The Pretenders were particularly unlucky. They’d been going only four years when James Honeyman-Scott died after a drug overdose. Then, less than a year later, the original bassist was dead as well. Meanwhile, being in the New York Dolls was more dangerous than taking part in the all-comers’-East-African-sex-without-a-condom competition. Recent plans for a second comeback tour were almost aborted when one of only three remaining members decided to up sticks and drop dead.

Today, I’m told, Thin Lizzy continue to tour. Great. Until I tell you the band is actually made up of one bloke who played rhythm guitar on Whiskey in the Jar and “some other blokes”. That’s not really Thin Lizzy, is it?

And it’s the same story, apparently, with the Four Tops, who really ought to be called A Top and Some Interlopers.

But we’d better get used to this sort of thing. At the moment, The Daily Telegraph’s obituary pages are full of second world war heroes who charged into enemy lines armed with nothing but a pearl-handled butter knife.

Soon, those guys will all be gone and, instead, we’ll be reading about brave Joe Walsh, who became so fed up with fellow band members knowing he was about to break into their hotel room with a chainsaw that he bought a silent electric version. This way, they would still be in bed, asleep, when he came through the wall.

In other words, the few rock stars who survived the heroin and cocaine will soon succumb to the misery of old age. And then what?

Trying to replace them is like trying to replace the foot from a beautiful old grandfather clock. Yes, you could have a craftsman knock up a new one, and it would undoubtedly do a splendid job of keeping the timepiece upright. But every time you looked at it, you’d know all was not right with the world. And, anyway, what’s the point, when the clock face, the pendulum and the weights are about to give up the ghost as well? So what’s to be done?

My wife insists that there is plenty of fresh talent coming along to replace the dinosaurs. She is wrong. The Franz Flighters, Car-sick Steve and the Frascatis are derivative and hopeless and I do not wish to listen to any of the noises they make.

I certainly wouldn’t pay even so much as one penny to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who, so far as I’m concerned, could not make a worse sound if they spent an hour attacking giant sheets of polystyrene with a flock of electrocuted cats. I hate them.

I want to see Genesis and Yes and Pink Floyd. I want to see Stevie Winwood and Eric and Supertramp and Bad Company. But I have the most horrible feeling that I’ve already seen them all for the last time.

There is, however, a solution. At the moment, tribute bands have a fairly poor reputation. But I’m not sure why.

When elderly people go to see Rachmaninov’s Third, no one is ever disappointed to find that it isn’t actually the man himself on the ivories. Indeed, many derive a great deal of pleasure in hearing how other musicians interpret the great man’s work.

In fact, when you stop and think about it, the London Symphony Orchestra is a tribute band. It simply turns up and plays music written by someone else.

So why can’t we encourage this sort of thing among today’s youngsters who wish to forge a career in the world of rock’n’roll? Instead of asking them to write their own material, which will be rubbish, we should ask them to interpret work by the masters: Camel, Gong and so on.

At present, tribute bands try to reproduce exactly what their heroes did. Some are astonishingly good. I once saw a Floyd tribute band in Alaska who were semitone-perfect.

But why can’t they experiment? Try to improve on the original? As we saw when Gary Jules rejigged the Tears for Fears song Mad World, a modern twist can be extremely enjoyable and successful.

We see this with every performance of the Royal Shakespeare Company. We see it with every orchestra. And soon we will see it with rock music too.

It’s not the real thing. But it’s the next best thing. And that’ll have to do.

Andrew’s progress, 320 days post transplant…

Once again, it has been a long time since our last post, but this time it’s all good news.  Andrew is doing fantastically!

At the last update on our News page, I said things were looking positive and they have continued this way.  This journey is by no means over for us yet, but there is a tangible sense of ease in the air. It is such a gift to spend time together, simply enjoying each other’s company, and especially to see him looking so much better.   We often talk of the future and can’t resist looking forward to the possibility of touring again.  Not an epic tour, but something he likes to call a ‘tour-ette’.

There are still a number of challenges to deal with.  One of the side effects he has to deal with is severe joint pain.  This seems to come and go, and it moves around his body to various points.  Unfortunately, the joints that are most effected are in his hands.  I can’t pretend we weren’t alarmed the first time this occurred but we did feel a bit reassured when the pain stopped and didn’t revisit for several days.  This now seems to be a bit of a cycle, coming and going without warning. Until he is off all medication, we can’t know for sure, but I refuse to think that it is permanent.  That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

There isn’t a day that passes now where he doesn’t have a guitar in his hands, even on the days when they hurt him.  He has tuned the guitars down a bit, so they won’t unduly strain his hands or fingers, and although his playing is a bit stiff at times, his sound is intact. His strength is slowly returning.  It’s a day by day process.  He still needs to rest and sometimes that’s hard because he often feels like his ol’ self and does a bit too much.  He has regained a lot of his energy and most of his hair!  I think I can cautiously say that time will truly be the greatest healer now.

We are hoping to have a new DVD for the holiday season, but I’ll leave that for another newsletter, when I am confident of our release date and the material to be included.  Now that Andrew’s treatment is not so intensive, I have a bit more time and will turn my attention to getting some of the items you’ve been asking for back into our shop.

We had always thought we could keep Andrew’s progress up to date on our site, with pictures and details of his experiences as he moved through the treatment stages.  For a lot of reasons this was not achievable and, with hindsight, it was probably best that we didn’t.  There were times when he was so terribly unwell.  Seeing him like that would have been more upsetting than necessary.  So, now that he seems to truly be on the other side of it all, we’ve included a short slide show.  The pictures were taken by Andrew and me.  You can get an idea of where we were, and where we are now.

So, just a short message to give you our positive news and to thank you, as I always do, for the phenomenal solace you have so generously offered.

My kindest regards,
Susan Hoover

ANDREW’S HEALTH 137 DAYS POST TRANSPLANT…

I apologise for the lack of information these past weeks. Andrew’s exellent progress suffered a nasty setback in February. We did send out a newsletter to those on our mailing list, appealing for a renewed Hour Candle lighting and you responded in force. It is so heartening. After a tough 4 weeks, he finally rallied and began to stabilise. He was able to come home in late March and, since then, has gone from strength to strength.

We remain optimistic, even moreso now than ever before. It is, however, still a long road to recovery. He still has a number of side effects to deal with, both from the stem cell transplant and from the drugs he must take for the foreseeable future. But he is doing so with dignity and humour, now having fewer down days. They are always made easier by the support he has received from his family, friends, and this global Camel family.

My thanks to those of you who have sent so many kind words of support, many sharing similar experiences and some sharing experiences that did not have the happy outcome we are presently enjoying. Rarely are there words of expression to ease such heartache, and I would not be so bold as to think I could find them. I am honoured to be given such an intimate glimspe into a painful part of people’s lives who, despite their loss, continued to wish for our success. That is a very great gift indeed.

In anticipation of some good news to come, I will close asking only that the candles keep burning.

My grateful thanks to you all,
Susan Hoover

Greetings!

Just when we were going to send out an update, our broadband went down. 10 days later, we are finally back up and running.

MOONDANCES New DVD and t-shirt from CAMEL

When not playing his guitar, Andrew has kept busy whilst in the isolation ward, and he has autographed 500 copies of Moondances. We are ready to offer the DVD for sale now, along with our Moondances t-shirt.

ANDREW’S HEALTH DAY 15 POST TRANSPLANT…

Thank you for your light. The candles so many of you lit for Andrew on the day of his bone marrow transplant were truly felt. There was a special feeling in his room when the nurses brought in the transplant, and that feeling remained for several hours. Thank you all so much.

We’ve had many emails asking about Andrew’s progress so I thought I would give you a condensed description of the process. The bone marrow is actually stem cells, harvested from a donor. The donor is given medication to stimulate these stem cells, and then they are taken simply through blood donation, much like giving a pint of blood. The stem cells are removed from the blood, and then transfused to the patient, that being Andrew. It is a strangely simple conclusion to a hugely complex process. In the end, a little bag holds Andrew’s future, suspended above his bed connected to his intravenous line. It took about 2 hours for the stem cells to be fully transfused. And now, we wait.

It will be many weeks before we know if it is 100% successful. The donor’s stem cells must replace Andrew’s immune system, and this takes time. He is sure to have some difficult days, and the inevitable effects of chemotherapy will soon begin to show. During the next 6-12 weeks, he will be in isolation, to protect him from infection and monitor his progress. So, as you can see, it is now a waiting game.

His doctors are very pleased with his progress to date, and he has done well with the drug therapy. But we do take it one day at a time. Yesterday was a good day; we’ll wait to see what today brings. One day at a time.

Some very dear friends of ours got together and bought a lovely new guitar for him, just before he went into hospital. He has that guitar with him, so he’s keeping his fingers nimble and writing a bit of music. He is strong in spirit and determined to get well. I know this strength and determination is accentuated by the support he is given, by all of us, and all of you. Please keep those candles burning.

With thanks from the depth of my heart,
Susan Hoover